Somatic Psychotherapy in Oakland

Leah Sykes, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

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Making Self-Care a Practice

August 10, 2015 by Leah Sykes

     My life is often filled with a variety of activities and projects, and I tend to enjoy being relatively busy.  It’s a part of my personality that has its upsides and downsides.  On the upside, it can feel good to get immersed in a project, and there can be a real satisfaction in getting things done.  On the downside, I run the risk of getting swamped, overwhelmed or just too busy.  One thing that helps me maintain balance is making sure that I’m maintaining self-care practices.  This is especially important during periods of transition or increased stress. Here are five things that have helped. 

  1. I remember that self-care helps with efficiency.

    Self-care practices are an investment with measurable outcomes.  I try to remember that if I take the time to invest in my own self-care I’ll not only be happier and feel better, but I’ll also do better work, whatever form that takes.  I notice a marked difference in the quality of what I’m doing when my self-care practices are strong.  I don’t think I’m alone in this experience!  Knowing this helps me prioritize taking care of myself.  It’s worth doing, both for my own sense of well-being and for those things that I put out into the world.  

2.  I find a variety of practices.  

    I’ve found it helpful to think about all the different types of things that feel like self-care for me.  For instance, I know that I get a lot of benefit from making contact with nature.  This can take the form of going for a hike or taking a moment to pay careful attention to the experience of watering the plants in my office.  I also know that I benefit from sharing my experience with another person, and know that I can do that by making a phone call, planning an outing, writing an email or sending a card. 

    Knowing about the variety of things that support me helps me get in touch with my resources when I need them.  When things are busy and time feels tight, I can do something that doesn’t take much time (like hanging with plants or sending a quick email), and make plans for doing something that takes more time (like going on a hike or hanging out with a friend.)      

3.  I incorporate self-care in small and big ways.

    Indeed, self-care doesn’t have to take a lot of time.  It can be a simple as noticing in any given moment what might make an experience even just a little bit better.  For instance, I just checked in with myself while writing this.  I noticed some inner tension and some physical discomfort.  I got up and moved outside.  Now I feel the fresh air, hear birds, and generally feel good about the change of scenery.  I paid attention to what I wanted, and the change took about fifteen seconds.  

    It can also be a nice practice to choose something that I do everyday and do it with the intent of using it to take care of myself.  I may pay attention to the feel of the water and scent of the soap when I wash dishes, and notice the satisfaction of an empty sink.  Sometimes I practice really enjoying the act of brushing my teeth!

4. I intentionally reflect on and tweak my self-care practices.  

    I’ve found it important to reflect on my self-care practices, especially when the pressure is on.  I might jot down a list of things I’m already doing, which helps me see what I might need to add.  I might sit down with my calendar and see where I can find something a little extra.  Even if I can’t get to it right away, the process of reflecting on what I need to do helps me access my inner resources, take a breath, and connect with my ability to take care of myself in that very moment.  

5.  I share my self-care practices with friends or family.

    It can sometimes be useful to have a self-care buddy.  Hearing what someone else is doing for self-care and stress reduction can be inspiring.  I learn new practice and am reminded of things I enjoy doing that I haven’t done for a while.  It can also help me remember that these practices are just that—practices, and there might be times when I’m not doing a great job of it.  Talking it through with friends helps me be easier on myself.  And since self-care often comes up in the context of addressing stress, talking about it within a trusting relationship give me the chance to be heard, which can help me feel more normal, less alone and more connected.  

August 10, 2015 /Leah Sykes
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Leah Sykes, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFC #109542 P

Holistic Therapy; Somatic Therapy; Couple's Counseling; Anxiety; Transition; Depression; Parenting; Single Parents; Single-Mothers-by-Choice; LGBTQ; Grief; Trauma; Creativity; Intimacy; Resource-oriented; Attachment Theory; Developmental Trauma; Loss; Bay Area; Oakland; Piedmont; Emeryville; Berkeley